PODCAST HELL

I just need to know. If you're reading this than you are probably someone close to me. I haven't posted an episode to the feed for a month and a week now. People who are involved in the podcast: What can I do to make this work? After talking to my therapist, she agreed that I need to continue making these episodes. Do we need structure? Should we talk about whatever we want without abandon? Does anyone have time out of your busy week to talk to me and others for like an hour? Anyone want to write music or create art for the show?

Here's the thing: I need to do this. I need it. I don't care about all of this unaired stuff that we're sitting on. If whoever wants to complete those two episodes let me know if I can help in any way I can. If no one wants to work on those old recordings then seriously let's push forward. If you want to do this I'm ready to go. I haven't been doing anything the last two weeks in terms of podcasting because of New Orleans and my computer is all infected with something, but I've killed the problem hopefully. Oh yeah and my room flooded again so my "studio" is all messed up. Don't worry about that, I'm ready to record.

Tell me what I'm doing wrong please. You want to talk about something? Go. Do I talk too much? Tell me to shut up. I try to let everyone say something but I don't know. If no one wants to participate then I'm going to experiment with doing shows on my own. Like my therapist said I need and want to do this.

Ken Flowchart

I'd Beat Ums: Mardi Gras Edition

No pictures and I'm avoiding moments that shouldn't be mentioned on this blog. I'm going on the best and the worst moments of Skweeze Mardi Gras 09 aka Bachelors fo' Leeze. Here are the best "you had to be there" moments. Aye mang, urrrybody gotta dream mang.



5. The food


With one exception (Fuck you Carlos Mencia's Suave, you horrible horrible man. Really? Tan can't have chicken in his burrito? It's 2009 you obnoxious fuckface). We ate so much good food, specifically at this place called Mother's. We spent two hours there ordering more and more food and no matter what we had, it was amazing. One regret from the trip was we didn't find this place sooner. I could eat there everyday but I can eat New Orleans cooking everyday. We got to try all of the local dishes like gumbo, beignets, jambalaya, muffaletta, oysters, and yes the po'boy. Which leads into...



4: "Can I have (insert number here) Po'boys?"



Not sure how that got started but I think Dave and Derrick started it. We kept asking each other that question above over and over in high pitched southern accents. Everytime we tried some new food we would add on or replace foods. "Can I get 14 po'boys and 3 orders of beignets? With some cawffee. And don' forget a bowl uh gumbow." It might have gotten annoying to some but I couldn't help but laugh. I think all of us left with a slight New Orleans accent.


3: Chris Owens


One of the most ghetto ass spots on Bourbon, but Dave really wanted to go there. I couldn't justify paying a cover to go anywhere on Bourbon but I could really appreciate Dave's passion. It became a running gag after awhile. "Where we going?" "Chris Owens yo." Then I find out she's some burlesque dancer who wanted to open a club in the French Quarter. I didn't think she was a she and I most certainly didn't think she was a burlesque or cabaret dancer.

2. Blue Blaaaaaaazer

Owen Hart was the original, but Dibs took it over. Dibs was too bourgise for us huh? "I only drink Grey Goose and I'm gonna wear my blue blazer. I only eat beignets from Cafe du Monde. Gotta dress to impress man." Honestly I can't say if Cafe du Monde had the best beignets because that's the only place we had them, but I didn't really like them. Anyway, it wasn't like that with the blue blazer, but there was sort of a powerful aura that surrounded Dibs when he wore that coat and maybe we should have dressed up a little. I didn't really give a shit though. I was good with my oversized "Groom to Be" hat and matching pimp cane. I think we all brought nice clothes to wear to the fancy restaurants we were supposed to go to, but that plan fell through because we were flat broke by the end of the trip.

1. CHESTER?

I didn't think it was that funny at the time and I don't remember why I was trying to get Chester's attention, but we were about to leave the hotel and I was waiting in the hallway. I called in a high pitched voice, "Chester!?!" and when he looked at me, I gave him an enthusiastic wave, like "HALLLOOO!!!!" All excited and shit. I guess the way I said it made people crack up but the excessive waving put that inside joke over the top.

Honorable mention: Late night Telemundo/Japanese Movies

First people are running from each other, then they're raping each other, then there is consensual kissing, and then they die. WHAT? CJ wanted to ask one of the maids to come hang out and translate for us.

Honorable mention: Dibs on Tuesday morning

I went downstairs to the hotel lobby ready to go out and in walks Dibs with a bottle of Bailey's in one hand, a fake cigar in the other and beads around his neck that go all the way down to his knees. "Parade." That's all I remember him saying. He said more, but we were both in such a daze that I can't be relied on to tell the story completely accurate.

NEXT TIME: The worst moments of Mardi Gras