I Have Fallen In Love With the Same Woman Three Times by Ninoy Aquino

While Benigno "Ninoy" was exiled in prison; before he was murdered, before people power, before his wife was shouldered with the heart of a whole country, he wrote this poem for Corazon Aquino.

---
I have fallen in love
With the same woman three times;
In a day spanning 19 years
Of tearful joys and joyful tears.

I loved her first when she was young,
enchanting and vibrant, eternally new.
She was brilliant, fragrant,
and cool as the morning dew.

I fell in love with her the second time;
When first she bore her child and mine
always by my side, the source of my strength,
helping to turn the tide.

But there were candles to burn
the world was my concern;
while our home was her domain,
and the people were mine
while the children were hers to maintain;

So it was in those eighteen years and a day,
till I was detained; forced in prison to stay.

Suddenly she’s our sole support;
source of comfort,
our wellspring of Hope,
on her shoulders felt the burden of Life.

I fell in love again,
with the same woman the third time.
Looming from the battle,
her courage will never fade.

Amidst the hardships she has remained,
undaunted and unafraid.
She is calm and composed,
she is God’s lovely maid

My computer ate it again, so that's why I have not been blogging much lately. I have found a new machine to work on, but unfortunately it's in the wife's office, so I have not been able to blog at times that I am used to. Anyway, this is a poor excuse for my lack of updates because I have all day to write, but I have not been. I promise new articles tomorrow because I have a few things to discuss, as well as the latest episode of The Correspondence Cast that will hopefully be going up this week.

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The BIGS 2

I have not been doing much other than: freaking out while looking for schools/work and playing The BIGS 2. Cooking...I've been cooking also. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know if it's because I haven't played a baseball video game since MVP Baseball 2004, or if it's really this fun of a game, but I can't stop playing The BIGS 2. I'm even considering keeping it from Gamefly which I shouldn't do because I have no job, but I can see myself playing this all summer.

I'm mostly playing the "Become a Legend" mode. You can make a character, and you take them up through the minors back to the bigs. It's pretty standard to have a create a player feature in sports games I guess, but I just like the variety of the mode. There are in-game challenges in every town you go to, with most cities ending with a game where if you win, you can take any of the players off the opposing team. I'm playing as the Cubs and it was phenomenal to see Rich Harden throw a perfect game. In a perfect world, sigh. So far I took Troy Tulowitzki off the Rockies(for defensive purposes) and Jake Peavy from the Padres(because he has a sick fastball). I got Lastings Milledge too, but I don't really use him. He's my only pinch runner. I need to pick up some relievers though.

I thought Prototype was my game of the summer, but it will probably get dethroned by The BIGS 2. It's great arcade style baseball which goes well with summer. I don't have to feel intimidated by the whole "simulation" of playing baseball. I seriously groan at the thought of trying to play a real sports game ever again. I feel like I've been left behind because I've been away from sports games for so long. All of them, particularly Madden, looks so complex now. It's good that someone is making simple and good sports games.

One last thing, the music is TERRIBLE. It's like 2K has no connections in the music scene or something. The first song that plays is "Boom" by P.O.D. That song came out in freaking 2002! Disturbed? Pass. Daughtry? Well, at least they got a band that was big within the last 2 years, but I pass them too. Soul Coughing? Really, they're still a band? Pass. The only song I like is "Oh Yeah" by The Subways I don't even like it that much, but it's like The Beatles, or Beethoven, or in my case Broken Social Scene, when compared to the rest of the soundtrack.

Great, I'm an INFJ

Ever since moving to the happiest place on earth my main goal has been to either go back to school or find a career. Since there are not many career opportunites, not just in Sacramento, but all over California, I have leaned toward going back to school. I have spent most of my week stressing in front of my computer because I have no idea what I want to do. It is sort of a life changing decision to pick a career. I have been going over various programs at everything from trade schools to universities, and nothing really has jumped out at me. Maybe that's not 100% true.

There are things I want to do in my life. Work in video games or write. I have thought of applying to be a games blogger for the Examiner but along with applying I would have to provide some evidence of my writing and all I have are these profane strung, and disorganized posts on this blog. I guess I should try to edit the posts so that they look somewhat professional, but that will take some time. Anyway I'm not keeping my hopes up that I will get that gig. That brings me back to the part where I am supposed to go to school. I do not want to do any of these things that these schools are offering certificates in. I'm pretty set on not getting another degree because I really do not want to take all of that general education stuff again.

I took this career quiz a friend suggested. It was not one of those quizzes where you answer five questions and they tell you what Happy Days character you are. It was almost 50 questions so it seemed pretty thorough. The results are supposed to tell you about your personality, and which careers are best suited for that personality. I am an INFJ. The description is pretty dead on. I like working alone, I prefer smaller circles of people, sensitive, lots of personality, etc. I have read a few sites to see which career I should pursue. The five most common careers that come up are:

Clergyman

Photographer

Alternative Health Care Practitioner

Psychologist/Psychiatrist

Writer

Blargh, really? I mean that's what I'm trying to do now! I am not really trying hard enough I guess. I told myself two days ago that if I could write articles for 6 hours a day then I'll seriously pursue writing as a career. This is my first post since making that deal with myself. It's really difficult to believe that I can write for a living with this lack of discipline. This is why I continue to look elsewhere for my future. I'm sort of leaning toward web design, but like I said my heart is not really in it. It's not too much to ask that I want a career that interests me just a little, right?

I Want A Draft Do-Over Part Two

3:Jenny Lewis(drafted 5th overall in the 3rd round)

People that know me know that I had/have a long time crush on Jenny Lewis and she has managed to stay up there in my mind. I used to blog about her incessantly on my old blog(I can't seem to search for specific posts on there but they're there). She used to be my special girl that no one knew about. I still brag to people that I saw Rilo Kiley play in a cafeteria at UC Berkeley in front of no more than 30 people. Last time I saw them they were playing a huge show at The Grand Ballroom in San Francisco. Freaking Feist opened for them. I still think shes cute and has an interesting voice, but her last few efforts have been whack. I do not regret picking her at all but I think I could have taken her later. I don't think Pierre would have taken her.

4: Gweneth Paltrow(drafted 8th overall in the 4th round)

Ok, what the fuck was I thinking? I totally dropped the ball here. Yes, Gweneth Paltrow is beat ums worthy, but I honestly could not think of anyone at the time so I panicked and she popped into my head because I just saw her on Conan. It was the first week of Conan, and I was all excited to have Conan back in my life, and there goes Gweneth Paltrow, and I think "Fuck, she looked hot with red hair in Iron Man." That was a stupid pick. For God sake she's fucking the anti-Christ. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

5: Jennifer Connelly(drafted 9th overall in the 5th round)

Kind of feel the same way about picking Jennifer Connelly as I did with picking Gweneth. Sure, I'd love to spend the evening with her, but is she top 5 worthy? I don't know. I think I was thinking about that scene in Requiem For A Dream. Also I had it bad for her after Labyrinth, but I saw that movie like 15 years ago. Questionable pick, but yeah. I blame lack of focus and preparation.

Girls I Should Have Drafted

-Veronica Belmont, host of the online show Tekzilla and Qore on the PlayStation Network

I can not believe I spaced on her. She is like a geek's dream. I could ask her about which new cell phone I should get and her cuteness rating is off the chart. Plus she could probably hook me up with a PS3 because she's tight with Sony at the moment.

-Rose Elinor Dougall(aka Rosay, formerly of The Pipettes)

My jaw hit the floor when I saw The Pipettes at a show in Chicago. Polka dots never looked so good. I dig her deep voice and her Casio keyboard skills. Rosay always sang about not wanting a nice guy. She sounded like she liked it rough, and that intimidated me a lot. I don't think I would be able to satisfy her, but hopefully that was just a persona that she was playing to benefit her image in the band. Now she's gone solo, and is taking inspiration from Angelus Silesius, whom I have never heard of, but hopefully this is a sign that she wants a nice boy like me.

-Neko Case, Amazing Musician

I should have stolen her from you Pierre. That's who I thought your first pick was going to be. I never mentioned that to you. Either her or Diane Keaton. I thought about stealing your precious Neko from you but I guess I was too busy thinking about Gweneth FUCKING Paltrow?!?! What the fuck was wrong with me?

-Ellen Page, actress

Okay, I'm losing focus again. I'm just kidding I would not draft Ellen Page. End post.

I Want A Draft Do-Over Part One

Last month, on our sweet podcast(please subscribe) Pierre and I drafted 5 fantasy beat ums. I cann only speak for myself but I did not put as much thought into it as I should have. If given the opportunity I would still beat those girls, but after thinking about it for a month I'd like to recognized some terrible omissions. First here was my draft in it's original state.

1: Zooey Deschanel(picked #1 overall)

I am not second-guessing this pick at all. She is still adorable. ADORABLE. I was staying with my friend's Beth and Rob in Chicago and they had recorded something on their DVR about Gilmore Girls so I wanted to watch it. First commercial is Zooey in a Cotton commercial.

God I want to have sex with the irises in her eyeballs. I'm sorry Zooey I do not talk like that to women. I just think you are the cutest thing and that is how I express that. Anyway, point of the story is that I never watched that Gilmore Girls special. I watched that commercial 5 times though. I'm watching it again as I type. She is my number one no doubt.

2: Anne Hathaway(drafted 4th overall in the 2nd Round)

Looking back on this pick I was sort of wishy washy about it. At the time I had it in my head that Pierre would be definitely be taking Anne Hathaway, so I kind of jumped the gun on her.

Sorry, watching the video again. I should not have added that until after I was done writing. This is going to take much longer.

Just even the thought of talking about Anne Hathaway at the moment is making feel lazy. I guess I think she is really beautiful but I have no attachment to her beyond that. It's not like with other nerd crushes where you at least go to their Wiki page which I have not done for Miss Hathaway. Conclusion: She's on my list, sure come to bed Anne but I have no interest in anything you say.

Sorry, I'm just going to fap to this video and go to sleep. Numbers 3-5 plus my more than honorable mentions.

[PROTOTYPE] Review

Oh man. Guys and girls. This game is so fun. Forget the story, just mash on A and the start button. Well, if you need a little bit of story then here you go. You wake up and you've been genetically modified. You can jump real high, your appendages can morph into claws or whips or sharp blades, and you can absorb, or consume people and take their form and their memories. You don't know why or how this has happened to you. So you go on a killing spree through Manhattan to find the truth. It's you against the army and eventually the people because they're mutating as well.

So who cares about that. Your character seems to complain too much, at least in my opinion. Why are you complaining? Dude, you can leap off the tallest buildings in New York, glide down to the street, start chucking cars at tanks, use your arms to stretch out to the helicopter that's now attacking you(a la Dhalsim), hijack the helicopter, and by that point there will be nothing but a fiery mess in front of you. That's the fun I got out of Prototype. I spent most of my time doing the side missions where I would have to sneak into bases by absorbing soldiers. Then I would have to consume the commander to gain more abilities. Everything you do in the game earns you experience(in the game they are called Evolution Points) and you can spend those points to add more abilities. Jump higher, consume faster, new combat moves, and my personal favorite which is the devastator attacks that cover the entire screen. They are indeed devastating.

The combat can be hectic at times. I think they throw too much at you at the end of the game, but I was playing on Normal when I should have been playing on Easy I guess. I should not be surprised about the difficulty spike because you feel so powerful in the game. I mean, what else is the enemies going to do besides throw more challenging enemies at you. Like I said I got more enjoyment out of just blowing up bases, killing as many people as I could, and running and skipping through Manhattan as fast as I could. I think so far Prototype is my favorite game of the summer, but I haven't played much. I played Resident Evil 5 but I don't think I enjoyed it as much as Prototype. I'm not saying you should buy it because a lot of people are tired of these open world/sandbox games, but I think that the addition of these crazy ass killing powers should warrant at least a rental.

It's So Hard

That's all I can tell myself these last couple of days. I wake up with the single intention that I have to make this new home of ours as comfortable as possible for my wife who has had her first week of her new career. She has been given Hematology/Oncology first, which is(according to her and her peers)the most difficult rotation to have. She wakes up a little bit before 5am and does not come home until 8pm at the latest.



I go on the internet looking for simple(keyword: SIMPLE)recipes that I can cook that evening. I scrub floors, I vacuum, I water plants, I clear off disorganized coffee tables, I wash dishes, I pick up things at the grocery store, I pick up the mail. I have a hot meal ready as soon as she walks into the door, disheveled and red-eyed. No matter what I do to make her happy, because of the long work day she just had, she can do nothing but flop into my arms, her arms around my ever growing belly, crying on my shoulder. "I'm so tired, Alvin" she whimpers into my ear. I have to bite my lip because we both shouldn't cry but I really want to.



I have no words. I just try to console her with an encouraging rub of the back. Doing that feels so pathetic though because the tears do not stop. I know nothing about the hardships of medical school. I start to feel guilty everytime she comes home completely exhausted because other than doing chores and errands, I'm not working or going to school which I should be doing. It feels like nothing I do matters. She will come home and cry no matter how clean the apartment or how warm and delicious the meal that I just nervously put together tastes.



I tell her about how horrible I feel, and she tries to tell me that what I'm doing is very helpful, but I'm not being receptive to her positive comments. I am not the cause of her pain and I should not take responsibility for all of the wet shoulders I have had to attend to. Still, I hate seeing her like this. Hopefully the next three weeks will go by swiftly. I'm going to do everything my wife needs me to do so that she can make it though this.

My First Michael Jackson Memory

I was in a bedroom wearing nothing but an oversized Bart Simpson t-shirt that I would sleep in. Michael came inside the bedroom...

KIDDING

I don't remember much of my life before I was 6 years old, but I do remember going to the Philippines when I was 4 or 5. The three things I still remember to this day are:

-Eating at a burger place called "Pac Man Burger." Even when I was that age I was a fussy eater and I remember my parents taking to burger places a lot during that trip. I question my memories because I can't find any proof on the internet that this place existed. Obviously this was before Manny's time, so when I search for "Pac Man Burger Philippines" I get nothing remotely close to what I'm looking for. Oh internets, you're useless. KIDDING AGAIN

-Getting attacked by a little lap dog. I don't know what I did exactly, but the result of my actions were torn skin, blood, and a lifetime fear of dogs. I don't mind older dogs but I usually just avoid contact with dogs whenever possible.

-Finally, I remember watching "Thriller" for the first time. My brother and I'm guessing it was a cousin of mine were going into another bedroom with a Betamax tape. Of course I followed them like any little brother would. They're going in the other room to watch something cool. I don't think I made it to the entire thing. I enjoyed the music of course, but I think I ran out after Michael changed for the second time in the video. Which sucks because that's when the famous dance sequence happens.

I think that it's interesting that watching Thriller was something I remember. I don't remember much about my early years but I remember that. I was too young to realize how innovative that video was but I had never seen anything like that before then. Watching that video again today I really think that all of the effects, particularly the transformation at the beginning, could still hold up today. It looks really well done. I can go on and on but I don't have to. Everyone loved that video.