Oh. My. God.

Bob Costas just mixed Star Wars and Star Trek references.

"And the force is with...Steve Spach(pronounced Spock)."

I thought you were cool Costas. That might have dropped you below The King of All Douchebag Football Commentators. Whoever you're rooting for, I hope they stink it up.

We just recorded the first part of our first podcast.

It's fucking weird to hear my voice. It's going to be a fucking bitch editing this.

Re: Happy New Years

Dude, Peggle is awesome. I don't own a proper version of it though. The original Peggle was an 2007 game, but they released Peggle Nights in 2008. I'm going to get Peggle for the 360 when it's released because it'll have both versions. Plus achievements.

The layout of that games post is totally off. I'm not gonna bother.

We might record more for the podcast. Rock, Jooks, CB, sneaks, Tanner, anyone interested? Need a mic and skype and audacity.

happy new years!

i've got a double-decker brain laden with diesel-fumey prose prepared (alvin keep making lists -- where's peggle?) but for now peep the scroll on this Fox News youtube clip. *facepalm*

I fucked up the format I know

I just wanted to hear about everyone's New Year's Eve. I went to my fiancee's friend's brothers'house. I broke my White Castle cherry and I had two doublecheese sliders. I really enjoyed them. Lots of onion flavor and gooey cheese. Fries were alright, but in their defense I was eating in someone's back seat and the lady at the window didn't give me ketchup so I had to eat them nude.

It was Guitar Hero party. It was a sight to see. Failing songs, finger pointing, screams from people who felt overwhemned, and two drummers on one kit.I kept getting stuck with Bass and everyone thought I was some God on Bass, but if you compare how namy notres a gutiar makes as apposed to the bass. Guitarist had to deal with similar progressions dyring a shot, but a guitariat will always have more notes than Bass Player. You get breaks when whatever quiet solo comes, it'll be you time have more arrention.

Ed Note: Just thought I'd put it up. I remembered writing this but never saw it on the page.

Games of the Year

TOP 10 GAMES

I had two criteria(if criteria is plural, is it criterias? That doesn't sound right. Great, my lack of grammar knowledge really reinforces my credibility/rant) for this list. One, the game was released in 2008. Two, I had finished the game. I did make one exception for that last rule, but I'll explain when I get there.

Honorable Mention: Professor Layon and the Curious Village

Level 5, the developer of this game, is poised for a big year whenever they release the PS3 exclusive White Knight Chronicles, but meanwhile they fucking killed with this puzzle, point and click adventure. The art is wonderful, with drawing obvious references to Miyazaki. I haven't had that much experience with brain teasers so I could really feel the IQ points going into my head after I would successfully solve a puzzle. I can't wait for the sequels.


Honorable Mention: Castle Crashers

We all played those quarter munching beat-em-up's back when we were kids. Final Fight, The Simpsons, TMNT Arcade. This is what Castle Crashers is. Move through levels, punch people in the face, eat food for health, but the game has added RPG elements like leveling up, magic spells, and collecting gear. Very good, very funny, but damn I wish the multiplayer wasn't broken at launch. I would have played it a lot more(They recently fixed multiplayer last week). If you don't enjoy beating numerous enemies senseless...you're wrong.

10: Space Invaders Extreme

What the hell...it's just Space Invaders...with fluorescent colors, multiple enemy types that require strategy to defeat,techno beats that react to your shooting, upgradable weapons, stage bosses, multiplayer(that no one really played), and online leaderboards. It's just Space Invaders...but EXTREME!

9: Mirror's Edge

Oh, how I wanted to love you Faith. And I do. Enough to put you in my Top 10. I don't mind the abuse. It's okay. Maybe I just like being frustrated because I died 20 times on the same jump, and then another 30 times during some stupid combat scenario. Man, you...I mean the game is just so beautiful and the world is interesting to look at. DICE did a good job of capturing the feeling of movement, sliding and flying through levels. I just wish you could fucking run away from cops.

8: Super Smash Bros. Brawl

I fucking hate you so much Nintendo. This should have been number one. Really. You had me in the palm of your hand, but you had to fuck up the online play. Here's a tip: People don't want to play two minute matches when looking for random matches. I can't deny that this is a really fun game, but I don't have game friends here. I can only imagine the sick matches we would have everyone still lived near Don's. I can't really say anything else. It's Smash Bros. With new characters and new maps. It's slower, not as frantic as Melee. It's really good, but fuck Nintendo. They don't need more smoke blown up their ass.

7: Audiosurf

YOU DIDN'T BUY THIS WHEN IT WAS TWO BUCKS FOOL. I CAN PLAY TO BARRY MANILOW SON

No, wait I will say that this game is great if you want to interact with your music collection. You can use any song that you have, so the replayability is endless. That is, until you get sick of it, which so far I am not.

6: Mario Kart Wii

I was sort of surprised that I put Mario Kart here. To be honest it's just feels like a mash up of all the Mario Kart games with few additions. I couldn't stop playing it though, and it was a godsend when my 360 broke. This is the only game on Wii that maintains an online community because the online play/matchmaking actually works. I can play a full race with strangers on my Wii. What a crazy thought.

PS - Fuck Nintendo.

5: Gears of War 2

There are so many ridiculous choice lines in this game. "Eat shit and die." "More like ten shitloads." My personal favorite is "THEY'RE SINKING CITIES WITH A GIIIIANT WORM!" They tried to make the story serious, but it was laughable, but I got some entertainment out of how bad it was, so that was good. The most fun you'll have is playing Horde mode though, but everyone knows/says that. Perhaps I should have ranked it lower because the multiplayer sorta broken at the moment, like Smash Bros. The difference is this isn't a Nintendo game, so obviously I love it. I really need to stop Nintendo bashing. Anyway, play this game.


4: Geometry Wars 2

This game fills my need to score big points. Online leaderboards kept me hungry to play. I think that this game caused me to lose the most sleep because it's so easy to just spam the start button every time you die and boom you're back to shooting those fucking Six different ways to play, pretty shiny 80's style vector graphics, it's the best arcade style game right now.

3: Rock Band 2

I can't stop messing with the plastic instruments. It's a serious problem. It's the same game with new songs, but I still close my eyes and lose myself in the moment when I'm banging on the plastic toy drums. It also doesn't help that Harmonix releases new songs every week. My most recent addition to my library has fulfilled my fantasy of being Gwen Stefani. I have a problem.

2: Grand Theft Auto IV

Ooooh man. If there was a hardcore gamer base reading this blog I would get so much shit from them right now. Blah blah blah overrated blah blah blah. I have to put it up here though because I spent the most time this year playing this game. I don't care what people say, but Rockstar fucking killed it. Liberty City hasn't looked this good, and there's so much to do. For the most part the story was an intriguing crime story, but honestly it really fell flat at the end. It just started feeling like every other GTA game, but the first half was awesome. This is the one game that I still have not finished though. I still feel like it's okay to put it on my list because I just need to do the last mission, but I don't think I'll ever do it because I just got too frustrated. I've been around town enough though to say that this game is worthy of Games of the Year lists.

1: Left 4 Dead

I don't feel right having this at the top of my list. I mean it just came out, and I might be blinded by that fact. It's so shiny. I already knew this was going to be my most favorite game this year after I played the demo and I team killed someone, then pretended to help them up like 6 times, and then finally ending their lives with a couple of shotgun rounds to the face. That's what it's about. You share these unique experiences with people that you enjoy playing with, and because of that sole reason I feel that you can't get any better than that. People who don't want to buy it because there isn't enough content, I can understand that. It's hard to really justify 60 bucks for only four maps, but if you're like me and you just make fun with what you got, then you'll think that this is a really good fucking game. This will be like my Team Fortress 2 of 2007, which is to say I'm going to be playing this well into 2009, every weekend, with the same people, until the next big profile game comes out.

HOTBOD leaders (YOWZA)

Eerily similar to..












So if the fate of our world is dependent on a decathlon...

Juniper Trees

5:04 Pm at work. Thought I'd bust some free association.

Ultra bright florescent lights humming and hanging over me. Desk a mess, just cleaned a plate of buttered popcorn with flavored salt followed by a power-white donut aka fang sinking puffs of greatness. Going to scarf some seafood in a bit with the renewal sales team. Lobster rolls, sourdough bread, and an assortment of other sea life I presume. Passing the time - our reservation is at 6:00. Took me 5 minutes to write that. I guess I'm not really free-associating. If I was it'd go something like this....turd baskets explode with eruptive force as the M-80 slim shady stick a dyno goes rhino stabbing esophegus pancreatic fat matter. Surely, I'm insane like 47 dwarfs in a catapillar line, outfit is elf sweats embroidered with sigfreid and roy lions glistening with rave sparklets purchaed from Michaels. Dirty dancing Baby and Swaze eskimo kissing while flamencoing into the night. This is the time of you life having. Life having nothing but blue furn meadows arms out airoplaning through creating alien crop fields Nesse couldn't mess with.

Crotch tight jeans - semi snug, semi torturous, semi - woodrow all in one shot = semi ridiculous suffocation devise made socially feasable by emo standards. Tickle me elmo is grover painted red with a vice gripped tightly around scrotum causing squeeky pontificiations of non-sense. But we all spew non-sense. Spew like radio-active snot traversing down a rusty tube splashing rapidly on the crinkly forehead of an asian Grandmother on her way to Ranch 99 to buy some 2 for 1 catfish.

Being human during Christmas

My family is going to have a gift exchange this year. Instead of buying gifts for everyone, we just need to buy for 1 person. I was paired up. We each answered questions about our qualities, likes, hobbies, interests etc. so that the person we're paired with can get an idea of what to buy us. This list was sent via email and cc'd to each of the relatives participating. I just feel like things are a little off with this. Although this makes the process, much more streamline, efficient, and affordable; there seems to be a lack of humanity in this process. Understandably, times are tough and wallets are tight. But, I can't seem to buy into this idea so I'm proposing a new idea.

Too often, people are at the mall at the last minute scurrying to buy presents or they get their Christmas shopping done way ahead of time to get it over with. The meaning surrounding the gift, although arguably a symbol of thoughtfulness and sincerity, doesn't entirely in my opinion, establish the connection that ought to be established. The T-shirt will eventually be stuffed at the bottom of the drawer, the jewelry kept in a safe, and the new Jordans getting replaced by a revival release the next season. I'm not saying that I'm anti gift giving. I'm merely questioning if too much emphasis is placed on "gift-giving" to the point where it becomes obligatory, mechanical, routinized, and diminishes the feeling of having truly given and/or received something meaningful.

I'm proposing creating a "thank you letter" for each person who has played a role in shaping your life. I can't help but feel that this gift would strengthen the bond that you share with the people closest to you, or create a bridge to bring you closer to those with whom you'd like to be closer. A declaration of your feelings for someone may be perceived as too mushy or effeminate in some circles, but I view it as truthful, genuine, authentic - a display of what it really means to be human - at the core what it means to give and receive appreciation. To me, someone's thank you would mean more than the latest and greatest article of clothing, an expression of gratitude uncannily exhibited by a friend would outshine the brightest bling, including a Jesus piece. I'm trying to redirect myself in the direction of what it means to be human. What it means to be vulnerable, courageous, loving, humorous, and giving in a world that tends to shield emotion, and promote materialism. I think being clear on defining and sharing these most precious qualities is important especially around the holidays when family and friends are within reach.

I'm committed to accomplishing the letter writing campaign this Christmas. Since we're kind of all writers here, maybe you all could join the fun. No pressure, its only your humanity at stake.

Dirikalitz nowitzki

Re: Save the Whales Hate Your Parents

I hate the idea of talking to people. I always feel like this is work when it really shouldn't be. You're just having a conversation. You ask questions, they respond with their thoughts, their feelings. They ask you stuff, you respond. That's all it is. I can't understand why I can't just talk to someone without second guessing myself, or I won't tell someone how I really feel.

I don't feel so reserved around you guys of course, but to be honest I still regret things that I say. I won't hold back, but I won't be happy inside. I can't believe I said that. You try to reassure me, that whatever I said wasn't weird or awkward at all. Still, I don't always believe you.

I like music, and games that the masses don't like or don't know about. It feels so fickle sometimes though. I've lightened up slightly in terms of music(as you will see in my upcoming Albums of the Year posts). I don't really know where I'm going with this. I would like to believe that a band like Rilo Kiley actually kinda sucks now, but I might just think that because they get air play inside Chili's now. If you told me that I would hear Rilo Kiley while eating a burger at Chili's in 2001, I would bet my Gamecube on that. Then I wouldn't have a Gamecube. Then I would be sad. There has to be some truth to the idea that once you are in the spot light, you change your ideas to accommodate the masses. I have to make something that everyone loves. I have to dumb this down to reduce the chances of becoming niche.

I am afraid I can't take care of myself. I mean I do the basic things I need to do to survive. I work, I eat, I entertain myself. I don't want to kill myself because I fear the afterlife, and just the idea of that is kinda lame. I am not fucking happy at all though, and I think it is too difficult to change. I like to blame my parents for doing too much for me. I think that's a pretty common thing in Filipino families, but everyone responds to their environments differently. Some people can develop into normal adults who are satisfied with their lives. I feel guilty for blaming my parents. I don't just blame them. I blame myself too.

I have the ability to change things, but I have no will. Also, it's just easier to wait. Things will work themselves out. Everything will be fine when(if)I move back to California. I don't know if I mentioned this in a previous post already, but I am accepting the fact that I hate Chicago. I really wanted to come here, but I just don't like it here. Great town, plenty of bars, good music, good parks, but I have no one to enjoy these things with. Anyway, back to my point, I'm just so sure that moving away from here will solve my problems. Who knows if I'll be happier? Maybe I'll get more depressed, but I really don't believe it can get any shittier than how it is now.

It is snowing like crazy outside. I hate snow.

Welcome CB4 and sneaks to the community.

What do you want from this blog?

Save the whales hate your parents

I haven't felt this alive in a long time. Over the weekend, I took the Landmark Forum. It is a seminar on improving quality of life and living authentically. In the Forum, you explore the stories you create for yourself and how these stories or ideas limit the ability to create possibilities in your life. "I'm a nerd". "I'm a morning person." "I'm only into hip-hop and have to eat mochi ice-cream for desert". "I only like Filipino girls and they only like me". You essentially block out the possibility of being or experiencing anything else. You create a story, an image, a persona and all of these things you believe to be "true" about yourself. These are not truths. They are merely opinions or views created by you.

If you view yourself as a "shy" person for example. You have general ideas of what the word shy means, as confirmed by the public at large. The definition of the word is then agreed upon by you. You thereby apply the definition to yourself and create a story for yourself as being "shy". In essence you create a view of yourself as a "shy person" because of your relationship with language associated with the word. Darn language. I need to elaborate on this more but I don't have the brain power.

I think I just went down a rabbit hole. I should get back out. But back to the forum, I've never experienced connecting with other human beings on such a profound level. Over the last few days, I've dramatically reduced my tendency to label and categorize people and be more in the moment of a conversation versus already having preconceptions and ideas about who the person is, what I should say or do to gain approval, etc. Its as if I'm throwing out the stories I have created about people and letting conversations evolve from nothing. I feel in-tuned, spontaneous, and and non-judgmental. I'm beginning to realize what it feels like to be a human "being" - to see through the vale of language and into whatever mysterious shit that's so beautiful.